dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
