I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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