So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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