Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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