It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
