Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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