perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
