great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
