Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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