I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is dick and wine.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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