So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize