In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
