It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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