I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
