If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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