another moral hangover. fuck.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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