It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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