you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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