He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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