rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
