ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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