You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Just puked most of my soul out..
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
