I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
