Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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