everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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