Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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