Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
