What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
