oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
