I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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