We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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