K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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