you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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