it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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