ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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