I want to have your abortion
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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