When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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