I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
