I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
