we're blogging at a bar
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
