Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
