Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
