the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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