hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Can I color on your dick again?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
