we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
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