Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
