so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
