i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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