whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
