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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!

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• (619): View more from California

  I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.

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• (415): View more from California

  I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?

  (512): View more from Texas

  Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.

  (415): View more from California

  Watch for tornadoes.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  We're doing a case race on Saturday.

  (302): View more from Delaware

  I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"

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  23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.

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  These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice

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• (831): View more from California

  I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT

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• (432): View more from Texas

  Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.

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