if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.