I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.