Texts From Last Night

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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.

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  (423): Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now. http://tfl.nu/w5j3
  Replies (37) Good night (4287) Bad night (1176)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.

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  (609): We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready. http://tfl.nu/9xou
  Replies (33) Good night (7879) Bad night (809)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Get out now.

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  (301): If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me? (513): Get out now. http://tfl.nu/w3kk
  Replies (57) Good night (8410) Bad night (2792)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."

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  (917): well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you." http://tfl.nu/h98x
  Replies (3) Good night (3211) Bad night (922)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.

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  (843): I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car. http://tfl.nu/mri5
  Replies (11) Good night (1301) Bad night (3693)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.

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  (203): Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle. http://tfl.nu/td6t
  Replies (6) Good night (2778) Bad night (1066)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm

  (1-757): View more from Virginia

  Dick in a box?

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  (757): Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm (1-757): Dick in a box? http://tfl.nu/x7sn
  Replies (13) Good night (4680) Bad night (896)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.

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  (941): I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh. http://tfl.nu/0uja
  Replies (2) Good night (938) Bad night (2054)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.

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  (419): Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day. http://tfl.nu/oeq7
  Replies (4) Good night (1333) Bad night (576)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.

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  (909): Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS. http://tfl.nu/zdw2
  Replies (7) Good night (556) Bad night (2062)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ

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  (443): Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ http://tfl.nu/d2b1
  Replies (3) Good night (804) Bad night (428)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.

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  (812): I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle. http://tfl.nu/j0rx
  Replies (1) Good night (824) Bad night (359)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival

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  (504): Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird (504): Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival http://tfl.nu/ifc7
  Replies (1) Good night (687) Bad night (409)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life

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  (250): so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life http://tfl.nu/wis1
  Replies (6) Good night (415) Bad night (1230)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?

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  (267): Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five? http://tfl.nu/q5fc
  Replies (0) Good night (580) Bad night (271)

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