Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Just pee around me
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?