we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.