this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life