it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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