How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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