Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
