im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
