Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
