I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
