My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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