Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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