you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
