Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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