just tell him i said nine months
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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